You know you’re lazy when … wait, didn’t we do that one already … oh well, here we go again … You know you’re lazy when you let other people write a blog entry for you.
We recently had the pleasure of a visit from four of John’s relatives. Their previous Mexico travel experiences had been limited — cruise ship stops in Cozumel, one person’s day trip to Tijuana and another’s resort vacation in Puerto Vallarta. Their questions and curiosity about Mexico and the way we live here reminded us of how it felt to be Mexico newbies. Things that are as normal as white bread to us now, were new, exotic and maybe a bit scary to our visitors. So, this blog entry is written from the perspective of one those visitors — John’s cousin Jenni, a professional writer with a community newspaper in suburban Chicago.
Writer’s note: This Mexican adventure was documented by an intoxicated journalist. While the quotes are accurate, the context may not be.
We came (from the windy city to an even windier beach), we saw (Chihuahuas and bats), and we conquered (fears of water, claustrophobia and authentic cuisine, including cactus).
This is the Mexican Adventure of Johnny’s Aunt Donna, cousins Pete and Jenni, and Kyle, Jenni’s husband.
The four arrived in Playa Del Carmen last Wednesday. After a long morning of traveling the crew was excited to see Johnny’s familiar face at the airport. Donna said she hoped he wasn’t missing any work to meet them.
“Work, what’s that?” asked Johnny. “Oh, that’s what the people with income do.”
The group met up with Libby and went out for the gringos’ first Mexican meal.
“This is better than the octopus tacos,” Libby said.
Johnny offered some advice about dining in Mexico: “Just slam it and order another beer.”
Pete obliged, “Uno mas.”
“Your Spanish is better when you’re drunk,” Libby said.
Before Pete indulged in his newfound legal drinking status (his 18th birthday was the week prior), Donna gave him a warning.
“If you puke, you better do it in the pool, our toilet isn’t working,” she said. “It’s such crap, this no toilet paper in the toilet thing.”
In the following days, the group traveled via ferry to Cozumel, witnessed the devastation of Hurricane Wilma, snorkeled, bartered and barked, drank in a cave and climbed the tallest Mayan ruin in the Yucatan Peninsula.
But it was the group’s last day that kept them busiest.
“Do you want a piggy back ride?” Pete asked. “Everyone can jump on, I have strong calves.”
Instead they opted for a horseback ride along the beach.
“The whole time I was behind the cowboy and he was holding the rope,” Donna said.
Afterwards, Donna went on her own for some souvenir shopping.
“I’m going to buy Viagra for Uncle Ken – Libby said you can get some without a script.”
Johnny, Libby, Pete, Jenni and Kyle went onto Hidden Worlds for cenote snorkeling.
“Oh, we’re all going to die today,” Kyle said when he saw the jungle trucks, or glorified open motor tractors, that would take them to the underground cave.
Snorkeling in cenotes, dodging underwater stalagmites, was the highlight of everyone’s trip. The group was glad they had their own guide, as some of the tourists bothered Johnny.
“They were wearing matching shirts – I didn’t want to talk to them,” he said.
After their siesta, the group gathered for their last night out together.
“Hey everybody, it’s 5:28 (see 5th Avenue and 28th Street),” Pete said as they walked from restaurant to restaurant looking for the perfect off-the-beaten path Italian diner.
After two bottles of wine, a four-course dinner, multiple rounds of Corona and tequila shots, drunken pictures were abound.
“Who’s going to sit on his stick?” Jenni asked prior to posing.
No night out in Playa Del Carmen is complete without a stop for Hawaiian pizza at Pizza Pazza.
“They are going to miss us because we’re so much freakin’ fun,” Donna said.
Editor’s Notes:
1 We’re not so sure about the accuracy of the quotes collected by this intoxicated journalist. But the editors were most likely also intoxicated at the time the quotes were made, so we’ll probably never know for sure.
2 Jenni, how could you have forgotten the most oft said quote of the trip: “Is it safe?”
3 Anyone other than a few, select relatives is absolutely forbidden to refer to John as Johnny.
4 After several months of living and drinking in a foreign country, we believe we have scientific proof that speaking a foreign language is much easier and more accurate when drunk.
5 “no toilet paper in the toilet thing” - Many restaurants, bars and (apparently) hotels in the original section of Playa del Carmen ask that you not flush toilet paper as it will clog their systems. In some of the newer sections of town and in more upscale hotels, this is not an issue. In case you’re curious, we’ve been flushing toilet paper in our apartment for over 3 months without a problem.
6 Despite what our guest writer may have unintentionally communicated, Cozumel is not exactly devastated. It is true that not all of the trees have regained their foliage, reefs close to shore have been covered in sand, and Sol Cabañas, the hotel at which Jenni and Kyle were married last January, was damaged and has not reopened. However, the majority of hotels are back open and looking better than before, the already man-made beaches have been restocked and are bigger than before, beach clubs have been rebuilt and despite sand-covered coral, fish still abound. The snorkeling at Dzul Ha was great on our trip.
7 The tallest Mayan pyramid in the Yucatan peninsula is at Coba.
8 Pizza Pazza rules!
Full map is 
